a day of reckoning

Yesterday while I was sitting in the beauty salon, it suddenly struck me that no matter how we try to become beautiful on the out side, that’s not true beauty. Some one may be the most beautiful person to look at but might be the ugliest person at heart. Real beauty is not the outer shell that covers us. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we say that oft but what the beholder beholds is the heart of the person. How you treat other people how you deal with them thats what really counts. And then I was reminded of the phrase from Macbeth that there are smiles on their faces and daggers in their hearts. If being beautiful means being vindictive and hateful, then I never want to be beautiful. If being beautiful means being spiteful and mean spirited then I want to be the ugliest person in the world. Some people just dont care if they trash someones heart and feelings. What matters to them is themselves.

As I drove away from the salon feeling sad and depressed it started to rain, it seemed so weird. It was as if the sky was crying at my misery. But then I saw an old man who had no legs sitting on the side walk, his eyes closed his face raised heaven wards and a smile on his face. It was as if the rain was washing away all his sins and misery. And I thought of myself sitting in a car and both legs intact alhamdulillah, having everything in the world but still being discontent. I realized that my problems were nothing compared to the problems of some of the people and instead of being thankful for what I had, I had been dwelling on how mean people can be. What I should have learnt was that if someone was hurting me then I should make sure that I dont do it to another person. I drove on and saw a small child riding gleefully on his tricycle in the middle of the street. I honked the car horn and he quickly got off the street looked at me and gave me a crooked smile and waved at me. All of a sudden the cloud of gloom lifted from my shoulder. But as I drove on and saw all kind of problems around me I started to get depressed again.

But then I heard my moms laughter, her telling me how her day went and then I saw my sister grinning and telling me how she had snuck out with the other interns to eat icecream. Then we reached home and I saw my youngest sister painting and frowning with paint all over her face, and I grinned. A real true smile from my heart. And then I sat there in the glow of happiness radiating from my family and I raised my face towards Allah subhanatal and thanked Him with all my being…I realized that in the end all I needed was my family and their happiness to make me happy.